


Slipping Through My Fingers

by 0bviousLeigh



Series: Isn't She Lovely [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Family, Growing Up, Other, you will cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:46:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0bviousLeigh/pseuds/0bviousLeigh
Summary: She keeps on growing, slipping through my fingers all the time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary (and story) inspired by Abba's song "Slipping Through my Fingers". If you thought part one was sad, this is a thousand times sadder, just listen to the song and you'll know. I can't believe I wrote something so melancholy. Be ready.

_I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it_

 

“Put me down, daddy!”

Shuzo freezes and Yuzu nearly squirms right out of his grasp and tumbles to the floor. He catches her before that can happen and asks, “What’s wrong?” Yuzu puffs out her cheeks and Shuzo resists the urge to kiss them, clearly she’s mad about something.

“I’m too big to be carried,” She says, “And I’m too big to stay on your back while you duel. I wanna sit in the stands!”

Shuzo’s jaw drops. “By yourself?”

Yuzu nods.

Shuzo is ready to say no, she’s much too young for that, but his manager, Takashi, clears his throat.

“Shuzo, she’s got a point. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been stooping. Yuzu noticed, too.”

Yuzu nods. “You can’t duel if you can’t stand!”

Shuzo feels a lump form in his throat. “You shouldn’t be thinking about that,” Shuzo says, “You’ll never be too heavy for daddy.”

Yuzu crosses her arms. “Daddy, I’m not a baby anymore, I know you can’t carry me forever.”

The words send a knife through Shuzo’s heart. She’s only four, of course she’s still a baby. She can’t cut her chicken by herself, she needs help washing her hair, and the buttons on her jacket are too big for her tiny fingers. Just a few hours ago, Shuzo was brushing her hair into twintails and helping her put on her favorite flower barrettes, like he does every morning. Now she’s looking at him with her arms folded, concern and determination in those big blue eyes of hers. Will she next tell him that she can brush her own hair, make her own lunch? How long until she doesn’t need him at all?

“Besides,” Yuzu continues, “I never see anything when I’m on your back. If I sit in the stands, I can watch you duel for real, and you can jump around like Uncle Yusho does! Won’t that be more fun for you?”

Shuzo kneels and puts his hands on her shoulders. “Nothing is more fun for me than having you with me. And Yuzu, I don’t think you’re quite old enough to be sitting by yourself with all those strangers.”

“I can sit in the front,” Yuzu says. “I won’t go anywhere, I promise.”

“I’ll sit with her,” Takashi says. “She’ll be safe, I promise.”

But Shuzo hasn’t dueled without his little girl beside him in years. He’s never left her with someone besides Yoko. What if she wanders off while he’s not looking? What if someone tempts her away with cotton candy, or the promise of a puppy? There’s so much that could go wrong, too much.

“Shuzo,” Takashi says, beckoning him. Shuzo stands and his manager whispers, “I have three daughters. One thing I’ve learned from them is if you don’t show a little faith in them, they’ll think they can’t ever trust themselves.”

“She’s four,” Shuzo hisses.

“I’ll be with her,” Takashi says. “I won’t let her wander.”

Shuzo closes his eyes. His duel starts in five minutes. He kneels again and looks Yuzu in the eye. It strikes him suddenly that he can’t remember when she last cried. Shots from the doctor don’t bother her, she’s not afraid of thunder, and when he takes her to school in the morning, she’s always excited to see her friends.

“Yuzu,” He says, keeping his voice steady through sheer willpower, “You have to promise daddy that you’ll stay with Takashi. No leaving your seat, not for anything besides the bathroom, and if you have to go, then Takashi goes with you and waits outside like daddy does.”

Yuzu nods, her expression serious. “I promise.”

Shuzo stands up. “Okay, you can sit in the stands.”

Yuzu jumps up and down. “Yay! Thank you, daddy! C’mon Takashi, let’s go or we won’t get good seats!” She grabs his hand and runs out of the room, and as the door closes, Shuzo finds himself in tears.

When did his baby girl grow up?

During the duel, Shuzo nearly makes several stupid mistakes, because he’s busy looking at the stands to make sure that Yuzu is still there. Most of the time, he can hear her before he can see her. She screams for him, cheering loudly.

“Get ‘im, daddy! You’re the best!”

Shuzo does win the duel, but barely. He knows that Takashi will have words for him, but when the match ends, the first thing Shuzo does is run for the stands. Yuzu is leaning against the barrier, clapping and laughing. Shuzo skids to a halt in front of her, and she ducks under the barrier and allows herself to be scooped up.

Yuzu grabs his face and kisses him. “You’re the best, daddy!”

The pain in Shuzo’s chest fades, and he smiles at Yuzu. Yuzu isn’t too big to be held sometimes, and she’s not too grown up to kiss her dad. He still has time.

 

_She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time_

 

The sales ladies all fawn over Yuzu whenever Shuzo takes her shopping. This is a familiar group, Yuzu and Shuzo have been coming to this store since Yuzu was two.

“What are we looking for today?” One girl asks.

Shuzo opens his mouth, but Yuzu answers first. “I grew out of my old summer clothes, so I need new ones. We need shorts, skirts, shirts, and two pairs of sandals.”

The ladies laugh. “What a knowledgeable little shopper you are!”

Yuzu puffs out her chest. “I’m not that little,” she says, grinning cheekily. “I’m five and a half!”

“Of course,” another girl says, “How silly of us. Well then, Miss Yuzu, shall we go look at some clothes?”

“Yes, please!” Yuzu says.

Shuzo trails after his daughter, feeling like something is stuck in his throat. Yuzu picks out a bunch of clothes, and when the time comes to try them on, she stops Shuzo before he can follow her into the dressing room.

“I can do it by myself,” She says. “Wait here, I wanna show you!”

Shuzo sits on a bench outside the rooms. He must look shell-shocked, because one of the ladies sits beside him and pats his arm.

“I know that look,” she says gently. “I have a ten year old girl.”

Shuzo clears his throat. “She’s an independent little thing,” he laughs, but it sounds hollow.

“Girls have a habit of pretending they’re older than they really are,” the woman says. “Trust me, she’s not half as grown up as she would like you to believe.”

But more and more, Shuzo feels like Yuzu is pushing him away when he tries to help her. She’s losing some of that innocence that she used to have, what little she had to begin with. Sometimes Shuzo looks at her and feels like he’s seeing someone much older, he’s felt like that since Yuzu was only weeks old. Maybe it’s just becoming clearer now that she’s older.

Yuzu prances out of the dressing room, wearing a lacy pink skirt and a white blouse. “Look, daddy!” She crows, “I’m a princess!”

Shuzo’s worries evaporate. “You are!” He cries, “Such a pretty princess!”

Yuzu beams and twirls in a circle. “Can we get this, daddy?”

“Of course!” Shuzo says. “Anything for you.”

Yuzu squeals and hugs him. “You’re the best daddy in the whole world!”

 

_Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table  
Barely awake I let precious time go by_

 

Yuzu stands on a stool in the kitchen, up to her elbows in soapy water. She’s singing, a song from her favorite movie.

“I want to be, where the people are…”

Shuzo stands in the doorway, in a state of shock. It’s six thirty in the morning, what is Yuzu doing up, and washing dishes?

“Honey?”

Yuzu turns around and smiles. “Good morning, daddy!”

Shuzo gestures to the sink. “Whatcha got there?”

“I know you were too tired to wash dishes last night,” Yuzu says, “So I washed them for you!”

She’s lisping a bit, she’s got her first loose tooth and it’s threatening to fall out at any time. Another sign of the passage of time.

“Wow,” Shuzo says, searching for something to say. “Wow, sweetheart, that’s so nice of you. But how long have you been up for? Aren’t you tired?”

Yuzu shakes her head. “I woke up by myself, the clock said six. Sometimes when I wake up early, I play with my dolls, but today I thought I could wash the dishes. It’s fun!” She yanks a bowl out of the sink and some water sloshes on the floor. She frowns at the wet spot, but shows Shuzo the bowl. “Look how clean I made it! And I did it all by myself!”

“What a big girl you are,” Shuzo tells her, and she grins.

“I’m a big helper,” Yuzu says.

“Well, big helper,” Shuzo says, giving her a kiss on the cheek (because she’s too big to be kissed on the lips), “How about I make us some breakfast?”

“Okay,” Yuzu says, “Can you make pancakes?”

“Sure,” Shuzo says.

They stand side by side, Shuzo mixing pancake batter while Yuzu washes, and they sing songs from the Little Mermaid. Shuzo knows the songs by heart, and his mind wanders. He wishes he could find a way to tell Yuzu that she doesn’t need to grow up so quickly. She doesn’t need to worry if her daddy is too tired to wash dishes, she doesn’t have to wake up worried about how she can help. She can watch TV if she wakes up early, or come to his room and wake him up, too, and tell him she’s hungry or bored. He wishes he could tell her to stop growing. She’s only six, but she doesn’t act like it.

Yuzu places the wet dishes in the drain board and hops down from the stool. “I’ll go get dressed,” she says, and she starts to race to her room, but her bare feet are wet from the splashing water, and Shuzo can see the accident coming.

“Yuzu, don’t run,” he says, but her foot slips out from under her, and she lands flat on the floor.

Shuzo cries out and rushes to her side. “Are you alright?!” He cries.

Yuzu lifts her head. There’s a spot of blood on the floor under her face.

Shuzo feels faint. “Oh my god,” he gasps.

Yuzu sits up, holds a hand under her mouth, and spits. Out comes a mess of blood, and a tooth.

Yuzu squeals in excitement. “Look, daddy!” She screams, lifting her head to show off a gapped smile. “My first tooth fell out!”

Shuzo’s heart rate begins to slow, but he doubts he’ll ever truly recover from this shock. “Wow, so it did!” He says, laughing. “Congratulations, honey! Now, let’s go to the bathroom so you can rinse out your mouth.”

Yuzu leaps to her feet. “I can’t wait for the tooth fairy to come!” She cries. “Wait ‘til I tell Yuya! He’ll be so jealous I lost a tooth first!”

Shuzo follows her, relief flooding through him. She’s not too old for the tooth fairy.

 

_I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness  
And I have to sit down for a while_

 

When Yuzu starts second grade, she comes home with a permission slip. Starting in second grade, kids are allowed, encouraged even, to come to school on the bus. The school isn’t far off, and Shuzo has always had the time to take Yuzu to school each morning, but his daughter has other ideas.

“I want to take the bus.”

Shuzo nearly drops the laundry basket. “You do?”

Yuzu nods, her eyes wide. “All the other kids are, and it’ll be fun to go to school with them. Yuya is going, too, so I won’t be alone.”

But Shuzo loves taking Yuzu to school. They have fun together, on the short trip. They sing, play games, and talk about what they’ll do that day. If Yuzu takes the bus…it’s just that much more time Shuzo is losing with her.

For a second, Shuzo thinks about denying it. He’s given her everything up until now, can’t he be selfish this once? Maybe she’ll understand, if he explains it, if he says that he just wants a little more time with her, his precious little girl…

“Daddy?” Yuzu prompts.

Shuzo gives himself a shake. “Sorry, sweetie. Um…Yuya’s taking the bus, too?”

“He said he would ask,” Yuzu says.

Shuzo nods and grips the laundry basket tightly so his hands won’t shake. “Okay, let’s see what Uncle Yusho and Aunt Yoko tell Yuya, then I’ll decide.”

Yuzu looks disappointed, but all she says is, “Okay.”

Shuzo goes to the laundry room and calls Yoko. She answers, and Shuzo cuts her off. “Are you letting Yuya take the bus to school?”

 _“I think so,”_ Yoko says, sounding surprised. _“He seems excited about it.”_

Shuzo feels his knees shake. “Oh.”

_“Why?”_

“Yoko…do you ever feel like they’re growing up too fast?”

Maybe it is just him. Maybe it’s only him that feels like he’s losing his baby to the passage of time, to the phrase ‘growing up.’ Maybe, if Yuzu had been his, truly his, Shuzo wouldn’t feel like he has to hold on to her quite so tightly. She came to him by chance, by the winds of fate. What’s to say fate won’t take her right back, and she’ll leave him just as suddenly as she appeared?

 _“Of course,”_ Yoko says softly. _“It feels like just yesterday I took him home from the hospital. But as much as I’d like to, I can’t keep him to myself forever.”_

“Today they’re walking to the bus, tomorrow they’re walking down the aisle,” Shuzo says dryly.

 _“They have to grow up some time,”_ Yoko says.

Shuzo squeezes the phone. “She’s only seven.”

 _“Shuzo,”_ Yoko says gently, _“It’s up to you.”_

Shuzo says goodbye, and hangs up the phone.

He leaves the laundry room, and stands in the doorway of the kitchen. Yuzu is doing her homework, using her fingers to add. Shuzo remembers when she first discovered those fingers. Laying on her back in her playpen, she held her hand up in front of her face, and wonder filled her eyes. She moved her fingers one by one. She stared at them as if amazed that she could control them at will. She stuck them in her mouth, in her nose, and she laughed.

Shuzo wonders when she’ll use those fingers to braid her own hair, to play the piano, or to have duels of her own, the way she says she will, “Just like my daddy.”

“Done,” Yuzu says happily. She puts her math homework aside, and turns around. “Oh, hi daddy!”

Shuzo smiles. He clears his throat. “Where’s that permission slip?”

A few days later, Yuya and Yuzu wait at the bus stop, bouncing on their toes as they peer into the distance. Shuzo, Yoko, and Yusho wait a few feet away, smiling as they watch their children.

“Here it comes!” Yuzu cries.

The bus rolls to a stop and the doors open. Yuzu and Yuya hold hands as they board, but as Yuzu steps onto the bus, she turns around.

“Bye, daddy!” She calls, waving. “I love you!”

Shuzo forms a heart with his hands. “Love you too, princess!”

He watches the bus pull away, says goodbye to Yoko and Yusho, and goes back into the house. He sits at the table and thinks that he should wash the dishes, or go over the cards in his deck, or make a shopping list. Before Shuzo can resolve to do any of that, a wave of sadness envelops him, and he cries.

 

_What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go?_

 

Yuzu and Yuya race through the halls, in and out of the classrooms, and back to the duel field again.

“It’s the best duel school ever!” Yuya cries, doing cartwheels on the duel field.

“It’s not a duel school yet,” Yuzu says, her tone bossy and self-important. “It won’t be until the ribbon is cut tomorrow.”

Yuya makes a face and mimics her. “It won’t be until the ribbon is cut tomorrow, nyeh nyeh I know soooo much.”

Yuzu shoves him and sticks out her tongue.

“Now, kids,” Yusho says, his voice fond, “At least act like you love each other.”

“EW!” The kids cry.

“No way, she has cooties!” Yuya says.

Yuzu whips a paper fan out of her pocket and swats Yuya with it. He yelps and holds his head, looking equal parts offended and hurt.

“Yuzu!” Shuzo scolds. He’s been on the receiving end of that fan a few times lately, and he hopes this phase ends soon.

Yusho stifles a laugh as Yuya runs to him. Yuzu apologizes, but she doesn’t sound or look like she means a word of it.

Yuya gets over the event quickly enough when Yusho offers to let him and Yuzu have the first duel on the field. They grab their decks and duel disks, and Yusho puts out a level one action field for them.

From the observation room, Yusho and Shuzo watch their kids duel with fond smiles.

“Seems like just yesterday I was buying him his first booster pack,” Yusho says.

It was partly because of the kids that they decided to open this school in the first place. They were getting a bit too old to have action duels every day, Shuzo’s back has been aching more often than it used to, and Yusho’s knees are giving him problems. Shuzo’s been paranoid about Yuzu growing up, but he’s hardly given a thought to his own age until lately. It’s brought a whole new set of worries to the front of his mind.

“Yusho, my friend, I have a favor to ask of you.”

Yusho turns to Shuzo, looking surprised at the seriousness in his voice. “Yes?”

Shuzo closes his eyes. “I’m making my will soon. I’d like to…that is, if something should ever happen to me, would you and Yoko look after Yuzu for me?”

Yusho’s eyes widen. “Shuzo, of course we will.”

Shuzo opens his eyes, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “I have no idea how to talk to her about things like this. I don’t know if I want to. I want to always be there for her, but if the day should come that I’m not, you’ll let her know that I loved her with all my heart, won’t you?”

Yusho hugs Shuzo. “Of course,” he says firmly. “She’s as much a part of our family as you have always been, dear friend.”

Shuzo is about to give himself over to tears, when there’s a shout from the duel field. Yuzu and Yuya are pointing at each other and shouting. Yusho and Shuzo look at the scoreboard. Both kids life points have reached zero.

“I want a rematch!” Yuya cries.

“I want to watch a replay!” Yuzu screams.

“Oh boy,” Shuzo sighs.

“Not old enough to mediate their own fights,” Yusho says, rolling up his sleeves. He opens the door and starts to go down the stairs. “Now let’s calm down,” he says.

“Booger breath!” Yuzu yells.

“Crude girl!” Yuya shouts.

“Oye!” Yusho calls, “No name calling, it’s not sportsman-like!”

“Or sportswoman-like,” Shuzo adds, eyeing his daughter.

The kids keep bickering, and Shuzo sighs that some things will never change.

 

A week after the duel school opens, Yuzu gets off the bus with her hair in disarray and her uniform askew.

Shuzo gapes at his daughter. “Did you go through a hurricane?” He asks.

Yuzu’s lips are pressed tight together. She shakes her head and walks to the house. Shuzo dashes after her.

“Yuzu, what happened to you?” He demands. Yuzu opens the front door and tosses her backpack aside. “Yuzu, talk to me! Did someone hurt you?”

Yuzu sits on the sofa, puts her head in her hands, and bursts into tears.

Shuzo kneels in front of her and puts his hands on her shoulders. “Baby, what happened?” He asks. It’s been years since Yuzu has cried, at least in front of him; a lullaby and a nap aren’t going to stop these tears.

Yuzu shakes her head. Shuzo sits next to her and hugs her. “Honey, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

Yuzu takes several minutes to calm down. She takes deep breaths, wipes her eyes, and says, “I know you asked Uncle Yusho and Aunt Yoko to take care of me if something bad happens to you.”

Shuzo feels like he swallowed ice. “You…you do?”

Yuzu nods. “Yuya heard you talking about it. He told me, just now on the bus, and he said it made him scared, because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. I told him it was a grown up thing, that it was just in case. Another kid heard us talking and…and he got nasty with me. He said that it was in case you decided to leave me like my mom did.”

Shuzo swears the world tilts on its axis. First of all, how could a child say something so cruel? Second of all, it has finally happened—Yuzu said the word “mom.” She’s never asked about it, and Shuzo doesn’t know how to explain this to her.

“Yuzu…”

Yuzu interrupts him. “He made me so angry!” She explodes, pounding her fists against the sofa.

Shuzo’s jaw drops. Angry?

“How dare he say such a thing!” Yuzu continues. “He doesn’t know you, he has no right to say something so…so terrible about you! You’re the best dad in the whole world, you would never do something like that. And that’s exactly what I told him, and he laughed, and I punched him right in the stomach!”

“You did what now?” Shuzo asks faintly.

“And he pulled my hair,” Yuzu continues.

“He did what now?!” Shuzo yelps.

“But then I kicked him in the boys-only place.”

Shuzo feels like he might pass out. “You did what now?”

“I would have done worse, but Yuya held me back,” Yuzu says. “But that stupid boy was crying by that point, so I had the last laugh in the end.”

Shuzo starts to laugh. It lasts for a few seconds, then he starts crying. He scoops Yuzu into his lap and he hugs her. He loves her so much, he feels like he’ll explode with it. He wishes he could protect her from everything, from all the people who will ever say mean things to her, but it looks like she doesn’t need his help with that. How lucky he is, to have this beautiful, strong little girl in his life. Shuzo leans back, wiping his eyes.

Yuzu looks nervous. “Are you mad?” She asks.

“No, not at you,” Shuzo says. “I’m mad at that boy who said those things to you, and I’m…I’m mad that you had to hear those things.”

“Are you sad?” She asks.

“A little,” Shuzo says. More than a little, but she doesn’t need to know that. “Because all I want is to keep you safe from people like that. But I am so proud of you, for knowing that I love you so much.”

Yuzu’s eyes fill with tears, and Shuzo kisses her forehead. “I wish I had been the one to tell you about what I talked to your aunt and uncle about. But you’re right, it is a grown up thing. I don’t plan on ever leaving you, but grownups need to be prepared for anything that might go wrong.”

Yuzu nods, and she sniffles.

“Are you sad, honey?” Shuzo asks.

“I’m still angry at that boy,” Yuzu says. “He…he had no right to talk about you that way. He was mean to you, and he doesn’t even know you.”

Shuzo wipes tears from her cheeks. “You know better, and that’s what matters to me, not what that boy said.” He kisses her forehead again, and says, “I think we both need to cheer up. Do you want to go somewhere? We could get ice cream, or go to the boardwalk.”

Yuzu’s eyes light up. “The boardwalk!” She cheers.

Shuzo grabs his wallet and they leave the house, hand in hand. It’s a warm afternoon, and their first stop at the boardwalk is an ice cream stand.

“Before dinner?” Yuzu asks in disbelief.

Shuzo winks at her. “It’s a special day. This is dinner.”

After the ice cream, they get cotton candy, and popcorn. They go in the funhouse and laugh at each other’s reflections in the weird mirrors, and after that they play a few games. Yuzu wins a keychain from a claw machine, and at a hoop game, Shuzo wins a small teddy bear, which he immediately gives to Yuzu. She holds her bear in one hand, and with the other she clings to Shuzo’s hand. Shuzo prays that the day lasts forever, and she never lets go of his hand.

But the day does end, and Shuzo ends up carrying his exhausted little girl back home. She brushes her teeth while half asleep, and collapses into bed with her pajama shirt on backwards. Shuzo tucks her in and kisses her temple.

“Don’t grow up too fast,” he whispers as he turns out her light.

 

 _Do I really see what's in her mind?_  
_Each time I think I'm close to knowing_  
_She keeps on growing_

 

When Yusho disappears, Yuzu seems to take it upon herself to defend his honor, at least at the duel school. She stalks around with her fan in her hands, making threatening motions at anyone who badmouths Yusho, or the school. Yuya walks around with his head lowered, and Yuzu keeps one hand on his shoulder whenever she can. The more Yuya shrinks in on himself, the more Yuzu draws herself up.

 _‘Yusho, you bastard,’_ Shuzo thinks as he tries to lecture a room full of students who only care about the disappearance of their teacher. What Shuzo really can’t stand is that they do it right in front of Yuya, who can clearly hear every word. Shuzo misses his friend, but he hates him for breaking his son’s heart.

Finally, Shuzo has had enough of it. He slams his hands down on his desk and shouts, “That’s enough!”

But there’s an echo to his words. As it turns out, Yuzu has also slammed her hands down on her desk, and shouted “That’s enough”. Shuzo is in shock, but Yuzu isn’t.

She whips out her paper fan and brandishes it at her fellow students. “Nobody here knows my uncle Yusho better than me, my dad, and Yuya. He’s not a coward, he’s not a quitter, and he’s not a crappy father.” She glares. “My uncle Yusho is the second greatest man in the world, the first greatest being my dad. I dare any of you to reach the heights he has. How dare you talk so rudely about your teacher? Have you any shame, any respect? You call yourselves great duelists. You’re not worth the dust in your own duel disks.” She smacks her paper fan against her desk, and everyone jumps. She bares her teeth and snarls, “You all make me sick.”

Shocked silence rings in the room, until Yuzu smacks her fan against her desk again. She then points it at the door. “Get out.”

When no one moves, she marches around the room, smacking her fan against the desks of all the students. “Out, out, _OUT!”_ She screams. “All of you, get out of my sight!”

The students scurry from the room. When the only ones remaining are Yuya, Shuzo, and herself, Yuzu takes her seat and folds her arms on her desk.

“Bunch of fuckin’ losers,” she says.

“Don’t swear,” Shuzo tells her.

Yuya starts to laugh and cry at the same time. Yuzu pats his back, and Shuzo comes over and hugs him. They forego the rest of the lecture. Shuzo breaks out the emergency supply of jelly beans and supervises a duel between Yuzu and Yuya. They don’t use their disks, just simple mats on the floor, and to make things even more fun, they swap decks.

“That’s not how you use that card,” Yuzu says.

“I’m the one using it, I’ll do what I want with it,” Yuya fires back.

Yuya wins, and Shuzo wonders if Yuzu lets him.

 

The school takes a big hit in the wake of Yusho’s disappearance. Shuzo tries to hide just how bad it is, but Yuzu goes to the school, and he can’t hide the dwindling number of students from her. Even then, Shuzo tries to protect her. It’s harder to make ends meet, so Shuzo forgoes things like new shoes and socks for himself so he can continue to keep the fridge fully stocked and buy Yuzu new things for school. Sometimes he thinks he catches her frowning at him, but it’s fleeting, so Shuzo wonders if he’s projecting his own anxiety on to his daughter.

Yuzu grows secretive. She does her homework in her room rather than the kitchen, she doesn’t show Shuzo her study notes anymore, and she doesn’t talk about what music she’s listening to. Shuzo chalks it up to her growing up, and he swallows a bitter taste in his mouth each time Yuzu scurries off to her room.

One morning, Yuzu drops her notebook on the way out the door. She doesn’t notice, and Shuzo grabs it and is about to chase after her, only to notice that Yuzu’s handwriting has gotten very, very tiny. He flips through the pages. At first her handwriting was big and bubbly, but the recent pages show controlled, almost cramped writing.

Yuzu comes through the door and freezes. Shuzo looks up at her.

“What’s up with this writing?” He asks.

Yuzu snatches the notebook. “I…was taking up too much paper,” she says. “It was wasteful.”

Shuzo opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. “Yuzu, what’s going on?”

Yuzu bites her lip. “Dad…I know the school isn’t doing well. I just don’t want you to have to buy anything I don’t really need, like more notebooks, or CDs, or clothes.”

Shuzo can barely hold back tears. “That is not wasteful,” he says sharply. Yuzu jumps, and Shuzo forces himself to calm down. “Yuzu, we have to talk about something.” He sits on the sofa, and beckons Yuzu to join him.

“I’m going to be late,” Yuzu says.

“I’ll write you a note, this is more important,” Shuzo says.

Yuzu sits next to him, and Shuzo takes her hands. “Yuzu, honey, you have been too eager to grow up for years now. It’s my job to be your parent, and to be someone you can lean on. It’s my job to worry about what’s wasteful, not yours. And your needs are not wasteful. You shouldn’t be worried about what school supplies I can afford, I will always be able to afford them.”

“By not taking care of yourself,” Yuzu snaps. “I know you tape your shoes. I don’t want the proud owner of You Show Duel School looking…looking poor! If you can worry about what I need, then I can worry about what you need.”

Shuzo can’t hold the tears back anymore. He hugs Yuzu, and chokes out, “Sweetie, this is the last thing I want you to be thinking about.”

“Then what should I think about?” Yuzu asks, her voice thick with tears.

Shuzo leans back and cups her cheeks. “Passing your tests. Your exhibition duels. When your favorite band will release a new song. Things that kids your age always think about. I want you to keep being you, your lovely, eleven year old self.”

Yuzu looks at Shuzo fondly. “Daddy, I know you worry because I’m all you have, but you’re all I have, too, and you’re all I’ve ever needed. Just like you want me to be happy, I want you to be happy.”

Shuzo closes his eyes, tears spilling over his cheeks, and Yuzu wipes them away. Shuzo has no words for her, other than, “I love you, Yuzu.”

“I love you too, dad,” Yuzu says.

But Shuzo can’t help but think that he’s underestimated just how grown up his little girl is.

 

_The feeling that I'm losing her forever  
And without really entering her world_

 

“Where did it come from?” Yuzu demands, holding up her wrist and pointing at her bracelet.

Shuzo holds up his hands, his heart racing. “I don’t know,” he blurts. “You’ve always had it.”

“Always?” Yuzu echoes. “That makes no sense.”

“From the moment…you were born,” Shuzo says, the lie bitter in his mouth.

“Babies aren’t born with bracelets!” Yuzu cries. “I want to know where it came from!”

Shuzo never planned for this, and he’s cursing himself for it. “I just never questioned why you had it. Honey please, let’s talk about this.”

“Just forget it,” Yuzu snaps. She storms up the stairs to her room, and Shuzo chases her.

“Why the sudden curiosity?” Shuzo asks. “Maybe if I knew what was bothering you about it, specifically, I could help!”

Yuzu slams her door, and Shuzo stands with his hands on it. He’s confused, and angry. Since when did Yuzu start slamming doors in his face? Since when did she start keeping secrets from him?

“Yuzu…I heard Sora’s teaching you fusion summoning. Is that true?” There’s no answer. “I would have taught you if you wanted to learn. Why didn’t you come to me? Honey?” He sounds like he pleading, and he is, honestly. Again, there’s no answer.

Shuzo presses his ear to the door.

“…liability to You Show if I keep acting like this,” Yuzu mutters.

Shuzo staggers back from her door, horrified that she could ever think that way. It hurts more than he can say, that she thinks that of herself, and he wonders how he could have allowed this to happen. When did his little girl start thinking she wasn’t good enough?

Shuzo goes to the attic and digs through Yuzu’s old baby boxes. He finds the parenting books and the notes he got from other parents, back when he first started taking Yuzu to his duels. But none of those books or notes talk about what to do when one’s teenage daughter starts doubting how amazing she is.

At the bottom of one box, Shuzo finds Yuzu’s certificate of adoption. His blood runs cold at the very sight of it, and he grabs the entire box and takes it downstairs, shoving it in the back of his closet. He never liked the idea of having it close by, but it might be better this way. He truly doubts Yuzu would ever go through his things, but the attic…and if she ever found this, before Shuzo got to tell her the truth…Shuzo can’t bear to think about it.

She might already know. She might suspect it more, now that Shuzo can’t explain the bracelet. But there are pictures of her as a baby, still too young to be anything but a newborn, and Shuzo could always lie to her. Tell her that her mother left it for her, that he found it in her crib one morning, the morning her mother left them both forever.

But Yuzu’s never asked about her mother, so why bring it up now? Besides, it’s too complex a lie. He could tell her she found it, but the pictures would disprove that, she’s legitimately had it since she was a newborn, she treated it like a rattle.

Shuzo sits on his bed and rubs his hands over his face. This is getting complicated.

After some time, he gets to his feet and goes to Yuzu’s room. He knocks and doesn’t get an answer, so he gently pushes the door open. Yuzu’s lying across her bed, she’s either sleeping or faking it. Shuzo grabs a blanket from her closet and drapes it over her. He takes her clips out of her hair and carefully removes the pin from her collar. She doesn’t stir, and Shuzo’s almost positive that she’s feigning sleep at this point. It hurts that she won’t talk to him, but Shuzo tells himself that she’s finally acting like a normal teenager.

He kisses her head and whispers, “I love you. Sweet dreams.”

As he closes her door behind himself, he could swear that he hears her sob.

 

_Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture  
And save it from the funny tricks of time_

 

Yuzu’s excited about the tournament today. A battle royal through the city—it’s never been done before, and she gets to be part of the group that does it first. Shuzo can barely get her to sit still long enough to eat her breakfast. She talks excitedly about all the duelists she’ll face, the techniques she’s learned that she’ll put to use, and the reputation that she and Yuya will build for You Show.

Shuzo remembers years ago, but not so long in the grand scheme of things, when Yuzu was getting ready for her first day of kindergarten. Much like today, she could hardly sit still, and all she could talk about was how excited she was to meet new people and learn new things.

“Aren’t you nervous?” Shuzo asks, and he remembers himself asking his five year old daughter that same question.

Yuzu shakes her head. “How could I be? I’m so ready for this!”

In his mind, Shuzo sees Yuzu laugh and say, _“No way, I’m a big girl, daddy!”_

Maybe it’s a sign of how things have changed. Shuzo was so sad on Yuzu’s first day of kindergarten—his baby girl was growing up so fast, where did the time go? But today, Shuzo is just as excited as Yuzu is. he’s happy for her, she’s gotten so strong and confident, and today she’ll show that to everyone.

 

When Shuzo leaves Yuzu at the entrance to the stadium, he blows her a kiss and says, “See you soon, Princess!”

Yuzu waves back. “See you, dad!”

_Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile_

 

Shuzo runs up to Yuya and Noboru. “Where’s Yuzu?” He asks, looking around.

Yuya hands Shuzo a folded stack of clothes. Shuzo takes them, and he realizes that they’re Yuzu’s clothes. He knows that pin, he gave it to Yuzu when she picked her deck theme, she always wears it.

“Where’s Yuzu?” Shuzo asks again.

Yuya can’t meet his eyes. “She’s gone. She’s been taken.”

Shuzo sways on his feet. “T-taken? But I just saw her!”

“That wasn’t Yuzu,” Noboru says. “She looks like Yuzu, but her name is Serena.”

“Then where is Yuzu?!” Shuzo screams.

“She’s in another dimension,” Yuya says. He starts explaining things, but Shuzo can’t understand anything other than Yuzu, his baby girl, his entire world, is gone.

He remembers he used to fear fate taking Yuzu away, the same way fate brought her to him. It seems like fate has finally come to collect.

“No,” Shuzo gasps. “No, no she can’t be gone.”

Yuya is crying. Shuzo wants to scream at him, how dare he shed tears like this? Does he truly feel her loss? How could he pretend to know what it’s like to hear those words, _‘She’s gone.’_

Laughter bursts forth from Shuzo. Yuya stares at him, he feels the eyes of the kids, of Yoko, on him. Shuzo looks at the entrance to the stadium, the last place he saw Yuzu.

“See you soon, Princess,” he says. Tears fall. “I didn’t even tell her I love her.”

 

_Slipping through my fingers all the time_

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a parent but I could so clearly imagine what it would have been like for Shuzo to watch his little girl grow up. I'm honestly shocked at my own imagination and how sad it was. At the same time I'm almost impressed with how much I made myself cry when I wrote this.


End file.
